It really takes hanging out with all of the right people to realize that you've been hanging out with the wrong people all along.
Today was a really super good day and I had so much fun. Tonight was especially fun. I'm so glad to be light years away from the person I was just a year ago. If this is what growing up and maturing feels like, then sign me up.
I'm also beginning to really appreciate my family. This past weekend, I drove down to Virginia with my father to visit my aunt. We spent two days sitting around and playing Scrabble and just really enjoying each other's company. My dad's aunt and uncle came down to visit, too, and they took us out to dinner and we all visited my uncle's grave the next day. It was a really warm feeling to be surrounded by people that share your history.
Everything seems to be falling together quite nicely. My friends are good, my family is good, and as a result I'm becoming myself more and more each day. School is starting soon and I only see good things coming from that, and to be honest I'm more than excited to go back. I'm actually looking forward to homework. I've come a long way in the past few years, and though initially I would want to change some experiences, I know I wouldn't because they've made me me. I'm driving myself towards real goals and creating a present and a future for myself all at once.
The way I figure it, life's a gift and I don't intend on wasting it.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Monday, July 21, 2008
Oops.
It's been a long time since I've written in this, and boy has it been a hell of a month. I'll start roughly where I left off.
Camp started, and it's been significantly better, and also significantly worse, than last year. It's better because I got over my "slutty summer" phase and my "gossip queen" phase, and slid into my grown up, responsible, work-comes-first era. (I do not call this one a phase because I plan to hold on to these qualities and grow on them.) It's been worse because Mike is no longer there, and things in the office haven't been going to smoothly. Also, most of the new staff suck. A lot. (I say "most" because there are some exceptions, but I will only get into detail about the crappy ones.) They are constantly on their cell phones and neglecting their kids. They gossip and swear and don't take their job seriously. It's endlessly frustrating. And don't get me started on the C.I.T's. But what I will say about this summer is that the kids are phenomenal. I have closer relationships with more kids and I am really enjoying even the difficult ones.
While I do love summer, I'm also very excited about going back to school. Oh yeah! I am officially a Fitchburg State College student! I registered for classes and took my I.D. picture and everything. I'm majoring in Elementary Education and Moderate Sped with a minor in Math. Not being in school did terrible things to me, so I can only imagine that going to school will make [most] things better. I'm actually even looking forward to homework. Jeeze.
Now for the less exciting stuff, my Uncle Bill passed away at the beginning of July. Nick came down for the week planning on going to a birthday party, but ended up going to a funeral. It was really sad and during the eulogies I lost it. I cried so hard that I had to use my brother Jesse to keep me up. I don't think I cried because I was sad as much as I was crying about how good he was. I know that sounds incredibly cliche, but he really appreciated life more than anyone I knew. Fortunately, Nick's visit wasn't all bad. My family and I went to see Iron Man at the Strand and it was excellent. Then on Saturday, we went up to New York again to swim at my aunt's boyfriend's house. It was really, really fun.
This coming weekend, my dad and I are going to Virginia to visit my Aunt Mirna. I'm looking forward to spending time with everyone again, this time on a much lighter note. Unfortunately, my dad and I are going this weekend because he's leaving for Oregon the first week of August. That's really going to suck a lot, too, but I suppose it'll be good for him.
Anyhow, I don't really have much else to say. I've been super lonely lately, and none of the boys that I know are worth dating, even if they'd have me. (Hopefully school will fix that, too.)
That's all, for now.
Camp started, and it's been significantly better, and also significantly worse, than last year. It's better because I got over my "slutty summer" phase and my "gossip queen" phase, and slid into my grown up, responsible, work-comes-first era. (I do not call this one a phase because I plan to hold on to these qualities and grow on them.) It's been worse because Mike is no longer there, and things in the office haven't been going to smoothly. Also, most of the new staff suck. A lot. (I say "most" because there are some exceptions, but I will only get into detail about the crappy ones.) They are constantly on their cell phones and neglecting their kids. They gossip and swear and don't take their job seriously. It's endlessly frustrating. And don't get me started on the C.I.T's. But what I will say about this summer is that the kids are phenomenal. I have closer relationships with more kids and I am really enjoying even the difficult ones.
While I do love summer, I'm also very excited about going back to school. Oh yeah! I am officially a Fitchburg State College student! I registered for classes and took my I.D. picture and everything. I'm majoring in Elementary Education and Moderate Sped with a minor in Math. Not being in school did terrible things to me, so I can only imagine that going to school will make [most] things better. I'm actually even looking forward to homework. Jeeze.
Now for the less exciting stuff, my Uncle Bill passed away at the beginning of July. Nick came down for the week planning on going to a birthday party, but ended up going to a funeral. It was really sad and during the eulogies I lost it. I cried so hard that I had to use my brother Jesse to keep me up. I don't think I cried because I was sad as much as I was crying about how good he was. I know that sounds incredibly cliche, but he really appreciated life more than anyone I knew. Fortunately, Nick's visit wasn't all bad. My family and I went to see Iron Man at the Strand and it was excellent. Then on Saturday, we went up to New York again to swim at my aunt's boyfriend's house. It was really, really fun.
This coming weekend, my dad and I are going to Virginia to visit my Aunt Mirna. I'm looking forward to spending time with everyone again, this time on a much lighter note. Unfortunately, my dad and I are going this weekend because he's leaving for Oregon the first week of August. That's really going to suck a lot, too, but I suppose it'll be good for him.
Anyhow, I don't really have much else to say. I've been super lonely lately, and none of the boys that I know are worth dating, even if they'd have me. (Hopefully school will fix that, too.)
That's all, for now.
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Babies smell.
The first week of camp is over, and it went swimmingly (for the most part). Unfortunately, as camp goes, by the end of every day I was ready to tear my hair out with my own two hands. Fortunately, they put me with a competent co-worker for next week so all that should be ancient history. Last night I was so exhausted from working at 6:30 every morning and running around outside all day that I fell asleep at 7 p.m. and didn't wake up until 7 a.m. this morning.
My mother and cousin Frank left for New York around the time that I woke up. So far today I've gone to the bathroom twice, watched three episodes of Sex and the City, and now I'm watching Jurassic Park. Five minutes in, and I could say with absolute certainty that I'd rather take my chances on Titanic. I'd really rather be dead if and when something started to eat me.
I know I promised a more detailed entry, but that's all I have the energy for. Plus, I'm watching Jurassic Park, so you'll have to excuse me.
My mother and cousin Frank left for New York around the time that I woke up. So far today I've gone to the bathroom twice, watched three episodes of Sex and the City, and now I'm watching Jurassic Park. Five minutes in, and I could say with absolute certainty that I'd rather take my chances on Titanic. I'd really rather be dead if and when something started to eat me.
I know I promised a more detailed entry, but that's all I have the energy for. Plus, I'm watching Jurassic Park, so you'll have to excuse me.
Monday, June 23, 2008
Schizophrenia.
Day one of camp totally kicked my ass. I'll update in much detail when I can keep my eyes open for longer than 5 minutes at a time.
I will say this, however: 11 hours on a rainy day with 7-year-olds who only want to swim and don't understand that lightening means they can't is enough to change your mind about coming back the next day. Good thing I'm a seasoned veteran.
I have to work at 6:30 (again) tomorrow morning, but this time at the YMCA. This means I have to leave my house at 6:05 a.m. which I am really not looking forward to.
My plan for the rest of the evening is to shower, eat some ice cream cake, and fall asleep listening to Radiohead. Maybe I'll make my lunch for tomorrow, too. (But probably not.)
I will say this, however: 11 hours on a rainy day with 7-year-olds who only want to swim and don't understand that lightening means they can't is enough to change your mind about coming back the next day. Good thing I'm a seasoned veteran.
I have to work at 6:30 (again) tomorrow morning, but this time at the YMCA. This means I have to leave my house at 6:05 a.m. which I am really not looking forward to.
My plan for the rest of the evening is to shower, eat some ice cream cake, and fall asleep listening to Radiohead. Maybe I'll make my lunch for tomorrow, too. (But probably not.)
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Incredible.
Yesterday was seriously one of the worst days I've had in a long time. Every little thing just seemed to go wrong for me to the point where I left BJ's in tears. It was like, "Welcome back to Massachusetts. Remember why you left?"
Today was considerably better, even if it was just because it wasn't yesterday anymore. Work was okay as far as work goes; I got another splitting headache, though, which I've been getting every day since coming home. I ate an entire box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch throughout the day which sounds grosser (more gross?) every time I say it. Then this evening I took my dad to see The Incredible Hulk for father's day which was AMAZING (again).
Things have just been weird since I got back. It was as if I left all of my problems at home when I was in California, and they were all just sitting here collecting dust, waiting for me when I got back; I'm just feeling emotionally overwhelmed. Thank goodness camp starts so soon because I would go nuts just sitting around for much longer. Thursday and Friday are full days at the Y (9:30-5:30), and then I'm getting kicked out of my house Saturday night because my cousins are coming. Sunday I took a shift at family camp, and then it's away I go.
Is it too soon for another vacation?
Today was considerably better, even if it was just because it wasn't yesterday anymore. Work was okay as far as work goes; I got another splitting headache, though, which I've been getting every day since coming home. I ate an entire box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch throughout the day which sounds grosser (more gross?) every time I say it. Then this evening I took my dad to see The Incredible Hulk for father's day which was AMAZING (again).
Things have just been weird since I got back. It was as if I left all of my problems at home when I was in California, and they were all just sitting here collecting dust, waiting for me when I got back; I'm just feeling emotionally overwhelmed. Thank goodness camp starts so soon because I would go nuts just sitting around for much longer. Thursday and Friday are full days at the Y (9:30-5:30), and then I'm getting kicked out of my house Saturday night because my cousins are coming. Sunday I took a shift at family camp, and then it's away I go.
Is it too soon for another vacation?
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Straight from my paper journal.
(Written shortly after takeoff):
I know that it's time for me to go home, and I'm really looking forward to sleeping in my own bed, but looking down at the California lights as I ascend thousands of feet in the air is filling me with a deep sadness that I was not expecting.
I felt really at home [while I was there], which I was also not expecting. My heart is filled with such love and happiness and I just wanted to hold on to it a little longer.
(Written shortly after landing):
When I landed at JFK, I took out my ticked to see what gate I was going to for my connecting flight, and that's when I realized that it didn't say. My burns were hurting worse than usual, so I popped some pills and waddled off the plane and into the terminal. I found a TV that told me my plane would be at gate 18, so I slowly set out following the signs. After a few minutes of painfully dragging myself around, I found that I had to take a shuttle; awesome.
When I stepped outside, New York smelled like the inside of a tent on the first night of camping, and the shuttle smelled like a wet nap.
So far, so good.
Now I get to sit in the airport for two hours and wait for my 45 minute flight.
It's 5:15 a.m. EST, which means it's too early to talk to anyone on the east coast, and too late to talk to anyone on the west coast.
And now, a bird is flying around the gate. Inside. Ugh, even indoors New York sucks. I've also noticed that at these little food/drink/news stands, they have plenty of Pepsi and Diet Pepsi and Sierra Mist, but now Mountain Dew. If I see any Yankees or Giants fans, I'm going to throw up.
At least I got some sleep on the plane. They handed out sleep masks, so I forced myself to nap a little. I used the neck pillow my mom gave me and put it on the tray table and hunched over. I drooled all over it, and woke up several times to wake my hands up.
And I don't even look awesome.
Soon I'll update about the rest of my California adventures and the fun I'm sure to have[/better have] this weekend.
OH... and since when did they stop giving out blankets on overnight flights? SUCKS.
I know that it's time for me to go home, and I'm really looking forward to sleeping in my own bed, but looking down at the California lights as I ascend thousands of feet in the air is filling me with a deep sadness that I was not expecting.
I felt really at home [while I was there], which I was also not expecting. My heart is filled with such love and happiness and I just wanted to hold on to it a little longer.
(Written shortly after landing):
When I landed at JFK, I took out my ticked to see what gate I was going to for my connecting flight, and that's when I realized that it didn't say. My burns were hurting worse than usual, so I popped some pills and waddled off the plane and into the terminal. I found a TV that told me my plane would be at gate 18, so I slowly set out following the signs. After a few minutes of painfully dragging myself around, I found that I had to take a shuttle; awesome.
When I stepped outside, New York smelled like the inside of a tent on the first night of camping, and the shuttle smelled like a wet nap.
So far, so good.
Now I get to sit in the airport for two hours and wait for my 45 minute flight.
It's 5:15 a.m. EST, which means it's too early to talk to anyone on the east coast, and too late to talk to anyone on the west coast.
And now, a bird is flying around the gate. Inside. Ugh, even indoors New York sucks. I've also noticed that at these little food/drink/news stands, they have plenty of Pepsi and Diet Pepsi and Sierra Mist, but now Mountain Dew. If I see any Yankees or Giants fans, I'm going to throw up.
At least I got some sleep on the plane. They handed out sleep masks, so I forced myself to nap a little. I used the neck pillow my mom gave me and put it on the tray table and hunched over. I drooled all over it, and woke up several times to wake my hands up.
And I don't even look awesome.
Soon I'll update about the rest of my California adventures and the fun I'm sure to have[/better have] this weekend.
OH... and since when did they stop giving out blankets on overnight flights? SUCKS.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
10,000 mg.
This sunburn on the back of my legs is up there with the worst things that have ever happened to me. It covers the entirety of both of my legs and it sucks to walk and to sit. I really don't know how I'm going to sit on a plane for 5.5 hours tomorrow. I just don't. I can't imagine it getting any worse than this, though.
The past few nights Danielle, Natale, Ray and I have been watching the X-Men movies. Tonight we're on to X3, and then we're going to the midnight premier of The Incredible Hulk. This week is totally marvel-ous.
Danielle's upstairs neighbors have been being very loud for a few hours. I'm pretty sure it's in anticipation of the Celtics-Lakers game tonight. We went to Ribs U.S.A. the other night and I have never felt more American/afraid to be a Boston fan in my life. Naturally, we kept our Boston allegiance quiet so that we could finish our dinner and not be thrown out onto the street. It wasn't all bad; we got to throw peanut shells onto the floor (and we did).
Tomorrow is Friday the 13th and I'm taking a red eye home. Wish me luck.
The past few nights Danielle, Natale, Ray and I have been watching the X-Men movies. Tonight we're on to X3, and then we're going to the midnight premier of The Incredible Hulk. This week is totally marvel-ous.
Danielle's upstairs neighbors have been being very loud for a few hours. I'm pretty sure it's in anticipation of the Celtics-Lakers game tonight. We went to Ribs U.S.A. the other night and I have never felt more American/afraid to be a Boston fan in my life. Naturally, we kept our Boston allegiance quiet so that we could finish our dinner and not be thrown out onto the street. It wasn't all bad; we got to throw peanut shells onto the floor (and we did).
Tomorrow is Friday the 13th and I'm taking a red eye home. Wish me luck.
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