Darkness?

I don't know why I reacted the way that I did. I can't really grasp it, but something in my snapped; I got so angry I just wanted to hit him to make him stop talking. Was I that deeply affected by Sticks & Bones? Am I now that person who can't hear the words, "I don't support the troops"? Or am I just ultra sensitive because I no longer have anything to distract me from this void?

That must be the one, here comes that emotion again. Why does it always happen this way? A project comes along, and I slough everything else off: school, laundry, loneliness? This emotion always seems to surface once my schedule opens up, once I have nothing left to hide behind.

I'm sad, but I still believe that something great will come along. True, it's been years (long ones, I might add), but I'm still young. I'm sure there's someone out there who will appreciate me for all of my flaws and my accomplishments alike. I know that there is something worth hoping for, and I seem to be at a loss when met with someone who no longer sees that hope. Did I react because that could be my future? I say that I will always have hope and see silver linings, but didn't he once? Or has life always been that dark and narrow?

How does one lose hope?

Or, better yet, how does one avoid losing hope?